508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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