I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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