what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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