Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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