so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize