Your mouth is God's brothel.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize