u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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