I want to make a zoo with you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize