My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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