i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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