Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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