I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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