using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize