saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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