shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
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i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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