Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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