I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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