WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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