I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize