so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Still dying that you shit outside
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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