did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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