Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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