He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
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Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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