weddingsv make me drug and hornr
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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