gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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