Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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