Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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