Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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