Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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