one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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