Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize