ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize