Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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