So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize