If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize