never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize