I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize