you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
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I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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