He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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