I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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