Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
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You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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