you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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