so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
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I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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