tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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