I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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