When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize