So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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