remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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