Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize