how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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